"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you" ~ Carl Gustav Jung
"It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them" ~ Alfred Adler
"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious" ~ Brendan Gill
"Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand" ~ Benny Hill
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity" ~ Albert Einstein
"Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercouse, yet he has left it out of his heaven" ~ Mark Twain
"As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent" ~ Socrates
"A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted" ~ Helen Rowland
"A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce" ~ Don Quinn
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet" ~ Mae West
"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience" ~ Oscar Wilde
"My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher" ~ Socrates
"He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough" ~ Lao Tsu
"Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting" ~ Billy Rose
"A rich man's joke is always funny" ~ Proverb
"Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river" ~ Cordel Hull
"When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes" ~ Dylan Thomas
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals" ~ Winston Churchill
"Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance" ~ William Shakespeare
"A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies" ~ Oscar Wilde
"There are three faithful friends—an old wife, an old dog, and ready money" ~ Benjamin Franklin
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much" ~ Oscar Wilde
"I can resist everything except temptation" ~ Oscar Wilde
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times" ~ Mark Twain
"A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking" ~ Arthur Block
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen" ~ Albert Einstein
"Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next" ~ Franklin P. Jones
"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary" ~ Richard Harkness
"Youth is a malady of which one becomes cured a little every day" ~ Benito Mussolini
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate
it" ~ Franklin P. Jones
"All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific" Jane Wagner
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same" ~ Oscar Wilde
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants" ~ A. Whitney Brown
"Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you recognise a mistake when you make it again" ~ F. P. Jones
"Sure, everyone always said 'Socrates what is the meaning of life?' or 'Socrates how can I find happiness?', did anyone ever say 'Socrates hemlock is poison.'???????" Socrates right before his death..
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't" ~ Erica Jong
"The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations" ~ David Friedman
"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain" ~ Lily Tomlin
"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with" ~ W. C. Fields
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...' ~ Isaac Asimov
Happy April Fools' Day Guys..... Cheer Up...
